Does anyone else loose themselves in parenting? I have been so unmotivated, so in my head lately. I haven’t mopped our floors in 2 or 3 weeks, I can’t remember which. I used to like to do things, craft, DIY, house stuff. I was always working on some kind of project, or working on me, eating right, getting in shape, something.
…….Lately I feel lost, unmotivated, and sad.
All it takes is a unkind word from my mother or mother in law… or both. I’m tired from work. Work has been really tough lately, a lot of changes and making me think “what do I want to do with my life?” I’ve always wanted to be a stay at home mom, right now it’s not possible for me but I keep dreaming, trying to find a way and lately it’s really been weighing me down.
I know it’s a phase, just like little bear phases come and go but I really can’t stand my phases of ….. well I guess it’s a little bit of depression.
Well, if anyone is out there reading, can relate, or has tips/tricks to help me I’m all ears.
Here I am, sitting at a breakfast place by myself. Enjoying HOT coffee and a very cheery waiter. I took a mental health day. I’m off from work and little bear is at the sitters. This is something I haven’t done since he was born.
Although that’s not the best day…. I know. Right? Yesterday was the best day. That’s right folks, day lights savings and a parade. Somehow we were so lucky that little bear slept late, was happy, we decided to press our luck and go to the St. Patrick’s Day parade. After all it was going to be right in the middle of nap time. But because of the time change I wasn’t sure what time that would be. We met up with friends, and my son was an ANGEL. No fussing, no crying, not moving from his seat. He was so entertained by the bustling resturant and then when we went outside for the parade he loved every min of it. He wasn’t even afraid of the fire trucks. Also someone gave him a balloon which was his new best friend.
My friends little girl however, she was melt down city. My, “oh my daughter never acts up or does that” friend. The one who says her daughter is a model kid every day of her life. (Silent smirk of validation)
When we got home little bear wouldn’t sleep. He was so hyped from the trucks and mummers he couldn’t possibly sleep. He kept telling us all about the parade. Running over “biiig beep beeps!” While my husband and I were waiting for the other shoe to drop….. it didn’t. My love stayed bright and happy and shiny right up until bed time. Then at 7pm, on the dot he kissed my husband and I took him up to bed. Not a peep, no fussing, crying, or waking in the night. It was the BEST DAY. I don’t know what we did to deserve this but I am beyond greatful we got to spend a memorable day as a family. It’s one of the best days we have had as a family.
Now I will eat my pancakes….. hot and alone.